Wednesday, July 17, 2013

YELL Day 26

Today was a day of errands and appointments, plum full! Some were better than others. The pedicure, for instance, was very nice. The photo at the DMV...worst ever. The next five years cannot pass quickly enough until I get another crack at that!

I drove my car through the car wash and stopped off afterward to vacuum the insides with their free vacuum. Sometimes they have these Vulture-Disguised-as-a-Rock-Chip-Repairman guys hanging around. Sure enough, one approached me, yelling over the noise of the vacuum, "Good Morning!!!" It was 2:00 p.m.

Without making eye contact I said, "Hi." I was vacuuming with purpose.

I kept doing my thing (the thing of vacuuming) and he kept doing his thing (the thing of being a vulture disguised as a rock chip repairman). Pretty soon, he yelled out in a dramatically dramatic voice, "Oh NO!!!"

I still did not look up. I just kept vacuuming.

So he yelled more loudly while touching my clean windshield with his bare paws, "You have a rock chip!!!!!"

I was, ahem, finished with my vacuuming so I hung the blasted thing up, looked the guy in the eye and said, "Yeah, I know. Yesterday. I-15 in Idaho. I've already signed my life away to Techna-Glass over on Eighth North and I'm actually headed there now." (When I got the first rock chip repaired a few weeks ago, I got the lifetime warranty for rock chips and it has already paid for itself.)

Vulture Guy says, "You know, you're already here and I'm already here and your car is already parked and I can just run this through your insurance and it will be FREE!"

I looked him square in the eyes again and said with a firm tone, "It's free at the other place and they never asked for my insurance information."

Finally! He backed down just a tad, "Well, okay, let me give you my card then."

I said, quite boldly, "I don't need your card."

Did I see some feathers ruffle? I think I did.

Vulture Guy insists, "Well, this is for when you'll be needing your whole windshield replaced--not just a rock chip!"

Having become weary of the Vulture, I again looked directly at him and said in an even tone, "I will never contact you."

He rustled up a fake smile and charged over to the next person who had parked to vacuum while yelling at the top of his lungs, "Good Morning!!!" I let it go at the car wash, so I'll say it here:

"Vulture, it is TWO something o'clock in the AFTERNOON! Try a new greeting!"


  1. Wow. You are amazing - with your nerves of steel! I laughed out loud three separate times reading your post! You really got your message across!

  2. I thought this was hilarious! Thanks for sharing your vulture encounter!