11 hours ago
Sunday, May 8, 2011
I just saw my mom last month and spent four days with her during Spring Break. It was a great visit! She has been ill for a long time and yet she surprised us all by suggesting that we go for a drive! We had a lot of fun in the mountains looking at scenery and viewing wildlife. We enjoyed just being together, sometimes laughing and sometimes being very quiet. She won't let me take pictures of her, so I'm not going to post one. When she found out we were planning to visit, she asked the universal Mom question: "What would you like to eat?" I say universal, because that's what K's mom asked when she found out we would be home for Christmas. These moms get so excited over their children!
It doesn't seem that K and I will have the opportunity to become parents in this life. And yet, most of the time, we have been blessed with extreme feelings of peace. I was able to enjoy church today and feel happiness for those who do have children. I'm so glad for that. I've recently finished reading a book called LOST CHILDREN. It's all about miscarriage. I bought it off the author after I heard her speak about another book she wrote which I had to read for a class I was taking. I guess you could say we have four lost children, but we don't really count it like that. When the topic arises, we may comment that we've had four pregnancies that did not end well. We're trying to learn the Lord's will for us and follow it. Sounds simple, but most of the time we feel deaf, dumb, and blind. Oh--and we try to count our blessings all along the way.
Here's an excerpt from the book: "Heavenly Father loves us unconditionally, especially in the face of our trials. He knows our individual worth and our potential. He knows exactly how we will benefit from our trials. He is the master sculptor and refiner, and though we cannot see our ultimate potential when we look in the mirror, He sees us for who we will ultimately become." I hope so. I hope we are on track with the things we are supposed to be learning and doing. I hope we are passing our tests with flying colors.
Teaching is a great profession and I know that somehow I'm helping the moms, but I also know that I'm not really a mom. People love to lump teaching along with mothering, but I know it's not the same, so I don't pretend that it is. I don't really know what motherhood is because I haven't had a crack at it. And because I've never been a mother, I can't say much about it.
However, we have a nest of robins right outside our bedroom window. I could do a whole separate essay just about the tree itself (our tree!), but I noticed last Sunday on my walk home from choir that there was a nest in the tree. At that time, it was empty. I kept thinking for a few days, "Too bad. Such a nice nest, but no babies. Kind of like our home." Now it has five blue eggs! I've been reading up on robins thanks to Google and am excited to follow the progress of this nest. It's raining now and heavy rain is in the forecast for the next couple of days, so I'm completely worried about the robins, especially the Mother. How is she going to stay warm and all that? I'm sure Father Robin will help her figure it out. Life has been going on like this for a long time, weather included! Since I don't have my own children to think about on Mother's Day, I guess I'll be thinking about hers: