Sunday, August 30, 2015

Oh Yeah, so about the hair...

I struggle with doing my hair. Always have, always will. No one ever taught me. My mom didn't do my hair or teach me how to do my hair. My three older sisters weren't around much. I just heard bits of this and that at school and tried my best.

Then I got older and really started paying attention to my hairdresser. I ask questions. I buy the expensive "products" she suggests. I buy the styling tools. And yet...

These things don't come naturally to me. Also, I refuse to damage my hair by flat ironing it every day all because straight is "in." I mean, I have my morals. I also pretty much loathe the time required for any success at all.

I started getting lowlights (opposite of highlights, meaning not blonde) to hide some of the gray. And why am I hiding the gray? Because my husband is ten years younger and although he never puts any pressure on me about that, I put pressure on myself.

The other day a coworker complimented my hair. This always makes me chuckle because first of all, I feel judged. I'm one of those people who thinks, "You didn't say a word the last 47 days so it's been pretty bad for a long stretch, eh?" Then of course, I wonder what brought on the compliment so I think back to my styling efforts for the morning. Almost without FAIL, it's the day I don't do anything with my hair. I didn't wash it, curl it, or anything. Just rolled out of bed and said, "I can't."

On the days I actually do make an effort, it's like a total failure guaranteed. You see, in the words of my three older sisters, I've always been "a sweaty child." They tell me I was a perspiring baby. I was born in July and sweat was my middle name. I have always been a big perspire-er and have just learned to sort of embrace that. Well, I'm still getting up at 4:30 every morning to work out, but my gym doesn't open until 5 and I don't get home until 6. Even if I get right in the shower (sometimes I read/study or eat breakfast first) and end my shower with the coldest water I can stand, I am still sweating. As scalp stays moist. So I crank the AC and have every fan in the house going full blast. I don't actually put clothing on until right before I leave so I can stay as cool as possible.

I turn on the hair dryer to follow Ms. Hairdresser's Styling Tips, but you know what? Hair dryers put out HEAT. And HEAT makes me SWEAT. MORE. More than I'm already sweating! Because when I work out, I try to beat my distance from the day before or burn at least one more calorie than the day before, so I am working hard at the gym every day which just warms up my core. Oh, yes, the AC is blasting in my car on the way home from the gym. You bet. I am drinking ice water. I do carry a lot of insulation around (which is why I'm working out), so I have that going against me. And in the end it doesn't really matter which magical potion I use, or whether I diffuse, or if I activate the cool shot hair never dries! Until about 9:30 a.m., but that's two hours into my contract time.

But nobody SEES the amazing things going on with my blood pressure, resting heart rate, and cholesterol. They don't think about the fact that I have not been diagnosed with diabetes like two grandparents, both of my parents, all three older sisters, and two cousins. Nah...they just notice that my hair isn't quite as bad as usual, so they feel inspired to say something in case I'd like to make it look not-as-bad-as-usual the following day as well.

And since no one else has said it aloud, I'll advocate for myself, "Good job never having an abnormal A1C and good job staving off diabetes as long as you possibly can!"

1 comment:

  1. I chuckled a great deal whilst composing this, however, considering the lack of comments, my humor didn't carry through.