Leaving

I started bawling yesterday morning when we packed up to leave Fairfield. Every single other time I've left, I had hope of coming back to visit my mom. Now, I know for sure she won't be there anymore.

I cried off and on all the way home. K kept asking in his gentle way, "Do you need a tissue?" He listens to me. He inquires about how I am doing. I'm so glad he was by my side for all of this.

I had a dream last night that my mom called me on my cell. I answered and she said, "Hi...this is your mom." And then the phone went dead. I said a little prayer asking Heavenly Father that if it's okay with Him, I would rather not continue having such strange little dreams as that (unless it's important, necessary, or just part of the process).

The service was very short (less than ten minutes) and extremely cold (too cold to cry). We all should have left our vehicles idling, but no one did. The temperature on the car said sixteen degrees. There was lots of gusting wind and biting cold. There were about twenty people there, perhaps more--I didn't think to count. I was able to read the poem L requested with a clear strong voice (answer to another prayer). L and K and I watched them place the remains in the burial site. My sisters decided to have that Yahtzee cup put in there with the five dice. The funeral director shook the cup one more time and let me tell ya, that sound of the rattling dice took me right back to my childhood. L placed a rosary. The Catholic ladies provided a wonderful luncheon/reception afterward and it was great to visit with folks. L's son and daughter-in-law brought chili to the house for our evening meal. All five of my sisters were there and my dad also came for the day with his wife. He said he thought it was all very nice and that Mom would have approved of the way we did everything.

The story was told of Mom's first official date with L. They had gone to Great Falls to go dancing and Mom was driving. On the way home, L kept inching his way closer and closer across the front seat toward my mom. Mom was wondering if this guy was trying to get fresh with her on the drive home. Turns out that Mom had too much to drink and L wanted to be ready to grab the wheel if needed. L said, "It was quite a ride!" Baby Sister said her first speeding ticket happened while following Mom into Great Falls. She was trying to keep up with Mom, but got pulled over! Eldest said she was stopped for speeding once and Mom came along behind her, paused, rolled down her window and said, "That's my daughter." The officer smiled and said, "Okay!" He let Eldest go with no ticket!

Back to the salt mines!