Civilize the Demise

Words. Millions are used perpetually. I model speech daily to impressionable ten and eleven year olds. Vocabulary is a big deal on end-of-level tests. Some days, I get the feeling we're not doing so well.

Today, I noticed something new--one young fellow in my class seems very fond of a certain "word." I was going over a note about an upcoming field trip which specifically mentions the busy traffic caused by the event. This boy raised his hand, politely waited to be called on, and asked, "If there's going to be a buttload of traffic, what time should we tell our parents we need to leave?" It was a good question, though tainted. I asked him to refrain from using that word in our classroom.

Later, our class was playing a vocabulary game simply called Dictionary. They were in teams of 3-4 students busily trying to find words in a dictionary that they guessed most of the class wouldn't know. The timer went off and a couple of teams lamented they hadn't had enough preparation. I said, "Too bad. We've got to get started with group presentations or we won't finish in time." The boy complained, "I suggested a buttload of words, but my team didn't like any of them!" No, I couldn't let it slide. He said he would do better.

The groups that were ready began to present which is to say we started actually playing the game. When the above mentioned boy's team took their turn, he happily announced to the class, "Our word is "BUTTress!"

I just stared at him and responded with a flat tone, "Of course it is."