I Wanted to Name Her Ruby

Some friends just had their third child and they named her Ruby. Ruby is the name we discussed should we have had a daughter (4 miscarriages). Ruby because it's two syllables ending in a "y" like Jody. Ruby because she would have been the most precious thing...even more precious than rubies. Ruby was my grandma's sister's name. And Ruby because those four letters are embedded in what would have been her last name, Kyburz (Ruby is spelled backward in Kyburz). Ruby Kyburz would probably have had brown eyes since we both do, and brown is dominate. But maybe not. I'm happy for these friends and they are wonderful parents. I'm glad they get to have their Ruby. It just reminds me that we don't. So there's a little mother secret leaking from my heart. That's all.