I've Wanted to Post SO Many Times!

Six months! My life has been a blur! The stress! The sorrow! Here's a quick summary of what's been going on: two new killer curricula (math and language arts),acting as power of attorney for a family member (sort of like becoming that family member), the somewhat sudden death of my sister (sob!), released from stake Primary and called to ward Young Women (teenage girls), lots of snowstorms, a new principal, a few medical things to deal with, and some wonderful quality time with the spouse (Montana, Arizona, Iowa, Wicked, snowshoeing, NCAA's in SLC, and falling asleep in our side by side recliners). I have had so many stories to tell and I have missed documenting too many important things, but my life is not my own to the point that I've even mostly stopped reading. That's how busy it's been. I'm exhausted.

I Attempt Technology All the Time with Little Success

A teacher was in the workroom this afternoon and mentioned test scores from last year for current students. I have been WAITING for this kind of data so I asked, "Where? How?" I was shown the website. So I went to the website and it turns out you have to log in. So I tried that. My password didn't work. So I clicked on "forgot password." Got a message that my account may have been locked or deleted. Or...I never had an account. So...I tried to register...got another message that I may already have an account. And don't even get me started on reCAPTCHA. I clicked on the crosswalk pictures. I checked every traffic light photo I could find. I spent way too much time on the reCAPTCHA portion of this process. No success. So I called the 1-800 number. They are closed, of course, because who works teacher hours? So I left a message. So frustrating.

So then I tried to set up my parent teacher conferences online as instructed. You know what? We only do this twice a year and it is not memorable. Last time we had conferences, the school secretary came to my classroom to personally thank me for being just one of two teachers in the whole building who did it correctly. That's not my usual...in case you were wondering. I don't even know how I did it correctly. I think I followed the tutorial. But the whole rest of the faculty got it wrong and she was not happy! So now I'm terrified! I'm going to get this wrong. And I looked at the tutorial and...my heart is fluttering inside my chest. I don't think I can follow it. I don't believe that I ever successfully followed it. I don't even want to attempt this. And do you know how much time this is taking? I have Cub Scouts and presidency meeting tonight and I haven't had dinner yet. I am angsty.

I don't like it when people say, "Just watch the tutorial." Or how 'bout this one, "It's on the drive." Or..."It's all right there online." All of this stuff takes time, People! Time I don't have. I made a brave attempt tonight in the quiet of my classroom, but I am backing down for now. Perhaps tomorrow I will find my way. I can't mess this up! The secretary!

I'm super dreading the Teacher Self-Evaluation thing I have to do, because you know what? Without FAIL! Every stinkin' year I do it and cross my t's and dot my i's and triple check and it all looks good and then I talk to my administrator and ask them to check pretty please on their end of things to make sure it looks okay and that I accomplished the task and...no exaggeration! EVERY. STINKIN'. YEAR. The administrators say, "Yes! We've got yours! It looks good! You did it right!" And every stinkin' year I breathe a sigh of relief because I finally jumped that hurdle and then...every. stinkin. year. My administrators send me an email and say, "You haven't completed your self-evaluation yet. Please get on that."

And I cry. Because there are no points for best effort. There are no points for painstaking attention to details. There is no credit for watching the tutorial or taking notes on the tutorial or even printing the tutorial out ahead of time and, ahem, highlighting it. There are just other faculty members who flippantly comment, "Oh, I did that already." Or, "Yeah, that didn't take me long." Or even, "Don't you remember from last time?"

No, no. I DON'T remember!!!

Summer Vacation is...Poof! Gone!

Well, we had fun, but summer vacation is absolutely 100% over for me. We camped and hiked and spent time with family and just each other. We saw HAMILTON in Las Vegas and swam in the beautiful pool at our hotel. We also swam in natural hot springs in Wyoming. So many dirt and gravel roads. Miles and miles of dirt roads which allowed me to nap sometimes while The Ranger drove on in his glory of exploration, five or six maps at the ready for consultation. I lost track of the number of new Forest Service maps he bought this summer. He just can't get enough maps. We took lots of photos. We lived off bologna sandwiches on the weekends. I lost weight as I do every summer and slept very well. Just as I do every August, I wonder if I would continue to lose weight if I could hang on to this summer vacation lifestyle instead of returning to the universe of stress and work. Don't get me wrong, I love the children I teach...it's just that...it's hard to keep a healthy balance of things while teaching.

Also, my return from Yellowstone signals the beginning of ten weeks of hell where we do this living apart thing. It never gets easier.

I can't tell you how many times I've entered and exited the states of Utah, Idaho, Montana, and Wyoming (we also went to Arizona and Nevada). The RAV4 is over 283,000 miles and when I came home in July for a quick second, I discovered a stow away rodent who endured me singing at the top of my lungs to the entire Hamilton soundtrack three times all the way through, back to back. At least it had AC for the ride. We live in the woods, what can I say? Some marmot decided to use our back porch as a pooping place. Marmot poop is exceptionally sticky--you can't just sweep it off the porch even after it's dry. TMI, I know.

Here's to trading my bear spray for a lanyard and whistle. Instead of wearing an orange safety vest for bison jams and elk jams, I'll be wearing one for recess duty and bus duty. Instead of answering the incessant query, "What is there to do in this area of the park?" I'll be answering the incessant comment from fifth graders, "I don't get it." And instead of wending my way through park traffic, I'll be back on my daily I-15 commute.

Instead of looking at Facebook at 4:00 a.m. in the morning while most of the park was sleeping and I could get at least a little access to it, I am currently Facebook Fasting for at least a week. And you know what? It's not hard to leave it alone at all. I thought it would be more of a struggle for me. Facebook does keep emailing me to tell me how many messages and posts I'm missing. Apparently, THEY are rather addicted to ME and it worries them that I haven't logged in for several days.

Addictions Begin Early in Life

I made it back to my own ward today after a summer in Yellowstone. A five year old I've never met in my entire life came up to me in the hallway at Church and asked, "Can I have a piece of candy?" I replied, "Sorry, I don't have any candy."

I was standing in the hall talking to his mom who had apologized for his brazen behavior. After a few minutes he swung by again and asked, "If you don't have any candy, what DO you have in that purse?"

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Inspired Recreation

Okay, you'll probably really think I'm peculiar after reading this post, but I wanted to nod toward my husband when it comes to a certain type of leadership in our family, that of "wholesome recreation" as written in the The Family: A Proclamation to the World. Before I met and married Ken, I was a really nose-to-the-grindstone kind of person. I was focused on paying bills, working a second job in addition to teaching school, and depriving myself of many things in order to become debt free. I was raised in a family that didn't do things like take us to Disneyland. We had picnics with cheese, crackers, and watermelon. If I needed something in high school like a dental appointment, a prom dress, or senior pictures, I had to arrange all those things by myself. I kept getting my dad's vet bills for his dog, Duke, after Dad moved out and continually called the vet after each notice explaining to them that this was not my dog and that I was not an adult and they could reach my dad at such-and-such a phone number and address. After graduation at seventeen, I moved out and was on my own for the duration. My parents never gave me a car. I struggled through college and gave every last cent I had for my mission. It takes a long time to pay for these things and manage to clothe yourself. I constantly compared myself to roommates whose parents gave them cars (or they could just move back in with their parents if they had to) and clothes and other gifts, parents who payed or helped pay for their college expenses or their missions or their cell phones. So, not complaining, because I learned a TON through the struggle and am a better person for it, but what I'm trying to say is...I wasn't having as much fun as some of those around me. They had gone on study abroad or would just go buy something or felt entitled to trips or other luxuries like clothing...and I wondered how they balanced all of that. I felt like I couldn't go anywhere or do anything because I was still playing catch up from not having any of those safety nets that a lot of people provide for their children.

And then I met this ranger. He grew up in a stable family with no history of divorce. His parents paid for his college and made sure his needs were met. They provided a financial and emotional scaffold for him throughout his childhood and young adult years. They didn't take him to Disneyland either, but they took him on lots of trips, including the "let's go check out some colleges" trip. Unheard of in my family (my parents never went to college). I announced to my parents that I was planning to attend the University of Montana. My mom said, "Someone was raped there last week." My dad said, "Don't expect me to pay for it." But I digress.

TR majored in RECREATION! It seemed a bit frivolous to me at first. But he pointed out that it's written in the family proclamation. And I am so grateful I married someone who believes in this stuff. We have had an absolute blast together. We've done things I've never dreamed of. Been to Hawai'i twice. Visited big cities such as: Washington D.C, San Antonio, Chicago, San Francisco, Las Vegas, San Diego. We've been to so many NPS sites. Hello, we went to Japan in April. We've seen Phantom of the Opera, Les Miserables, and Hamilton. He knows how to pack it in!

On Wednesday evening, we did our finances. Afterward, he surprised me with this. "Hamilton is playing in Vegas. There are two seats left together. Wanna go?" YES!!! So he bought the tickets, booked our hotel, and we left the next day when he got off work. Spontaneous! We swam. We ate. We attended the Las Vegas Temple and did sealings for ancestors on my side of the family. And I FINALLY GOT TO SEE HAMILTON!!! It was amazing. And he loved it too! And we keep bringing up pieces of the show in our conversations. And on the way home we visited three of his cousins and their families. And then we started packing for Yellowstone.

We are off this morning for our sixth summer in the park. Oh the adventures we have had and the adventures that are in store! It's a crazy life, but you know what, it's all a gift and I'm glad I'm a part of it. I could stay home and paint the bedroom, but nah...I enjoy volunteering and engaging with park visitors. Most of all, I love cohabitating with my husband and sharing life together with him. I love that he has brought so much fun and recreation to my life. It was something that was missing. And yes, I have brought debt-free living to his life and now he can see the benefits of that. Together, we are Team Kyburz.

And that's how we manage to do things like wake up in Las Vegas on Saturday morning and go to bed in Yellowstone National Park on Sunday evening--6 Western States in 2 days, Baby!

I See London...I See Spain?

We went camping. TR was kneeling down to pound in the stakes of our tent. It was just the two of us and I noticed something and since I'm an elementary school teacher...I just sort of sang out, "I see London, I see France..." He knew what I was talking about. So later, I was tending to the fajitas we were making in the fire pit and TR thought it would be an appropriate time to get back at me saying, "I see Spain! I see France!"

Spain?

Still laughing.

Sheriff Ivan, King of the Ranch

So yesterday I stopped by my sister's ranch to visit for an hour and a half on my way home from seeing Dad. This is my oldest sister who is married to a cowboy and they have cattle and horses and other various animals at various times along with several dogs. My second oldest sister is also living there. And she is the one who has decided that Ivan is the Sheriff of the entire dog posse...and king of the whole ranch. Ivan is a minpin who hasn't missed too many meals. He's low to the ground with big ears that stick straight up, but everything else is round and robust which prevents him from jumping up on the couch to cuddle, so he just whines until his favorite human picks him up for a nap. Snoring is his specialty.

There's Stinger who is the boss of the outdoors. He likes going into the house too, but finds it ever so much more fun to sniff through the bushes and generally patrol the property. He's a mostly big white dog with some blonde patches.

Fancy is a miniature schnauzer who is eight years old, so she's quite finished with caring about most things except for naps on the couch. That is her forte. She's a little old gray lady.

Squeaky is a fluffy black thing with a pointed nose. I think he looks and moves (waddles) just like a skunk minus the white stripe. He's a little love and nested right in under my arm for petting and devotion. He's also portly and has a habit of wheezing.

Shiloh is a teenage movie star. She is a glamorous red-headed standard poodle with curls for days and big brown eyes. She plops herself on the couch literally sprawling ALL over with her head resting on my sister's thigh or belly and her own legs splayed open. Her only concern is to be stroked by my sister. She hasn't quite grown into her legs yet but makes friends easily by licking and licking and licking every finger and hand she can find. Shiloh is currently fascinated with Tallie's pups and wants to see one really, really bad, but Tallie isn't having it.

Tallie is a cow dog. She works hard with my sister's husband and is an Australian Shepherd. She was bred with another dog and gave birth to 8 pups five days ago. So yes, I was holding four day old puppies yesterday and Tallie was just fine with that. She completely trusts all the humans. Other dogs? Not so much. She watches her seven sons and one daughter like a hawk and if anyone comes near, such as the ever curious Shiloh who will be bred next year and have her own turn at motherhood, Tallie just tears right out of that nest of babies shrieking and barking like no other. Shiloh is just going to have to wait awhile before she can seriously become an aunt. These puppies are with their mother in a dog house on the front porch (the one that's shaped like an igloo). Tallie goes inside the house when she feels like it, but the other five dogs are inside a lot, so it's rather a menagerie. With their separate and distinct breeds, I couldn't help but wish for a dog family portrait. Shiloh would have to be front and center being so tall and glamorous, with the others posed around her. But this, of course, would be impossible really. They would never sit still long enough.

Unless there was toast. Toast might work. At six o'clock every morning, the dogs all get toast. With real butter. That's simply how each day begins on the ranch.